they have more units to choose from too

These guys are still pretty crazy/amazing, even without commander effects; Twin, squad assault, and Bravado 20, alone on their card, at 19 pts, makes them a formidable force! Loved playing them!

Victory on Mykyr. Dooku and Grievous personally attended to the acquisition of the force hunting beasts. We encountered the Jedi Yoda and his SpecForce allies but they were no match for my or the counts Blades. Unfortunately I lost my bodyguard droids and door control but still... Casualties of war. The force was not with my opponent and Yoda rolled 5 1s at least in his duel with the Confederate heroes as well as not even one shot could connect with myself or the Count. I wounded Yoda but the green beast still lives and the cowardly Bren Derlin escaped my wrath as well... For now...

Uniques lost
Master Yoda

On my return from the wilderness I have heard reports of great Separastist losses... This is... Unfortunate. All commanders must immediately report to Naboo for a special reeducation session with the natives. On completion of this you will be fitted with cyborgnetic upgrades along with all of our troops so that I may command the Confederate army personally. We must prepare for the final phase of this war. There is still hope to claim victory, but only if we unite against this terror movement that is seeping like a cancer through this galaxy. Those left to fight? Fight now and fight hard. Bring is victory.

Lieutenant Glasdren, reporting in to Rebel High Command from the campaign on Falleen:

My apologies in advance, commanders, for the long report. The reasons for its length will be laid out below. I am reporting on behalf of General Comedian, who is currently undergoing therapy at the moment. The immediate details of the battle are recorded at the end of the report, preceded by the lengthier description of the details surrounding it.

First off, to explain General Comedian’s absence, I am transmitting the last entry in his combat log:



It seems the strain of trying to keep the Ewoks under control on the way to the battle proved too much for the General, and he was reduced to frantic, mindless rambling by the time we got to the planet. Thankfully, his strategy had been laid out and discussed in detail before, and so his staff (including myself) were well prepared to direct the battle in his stead. The mighty Wookiee Chewbacca was put in charge of the operation, riding in a… well, a walker of some sort. Not sure where he got it, it certainly isn’t a Republic model. And how did they even fit it on the ship? The Legacy isn’t even that big… how…

Anyways, I digress. We took up positions on the east side of a casino – well, most of us did. An ambitious Ewok set up a catapult in the middle of it. We had had trouble trying to evacuate the casino-goers untnil they built that catapult in there.

Chief Chirpa, one of his lieutenants, and one of our Ithorian officers adopted a storage room as their base of operations, and promptly started eating the lunches they had packed. I might have also seen a deck of cards come out, but I was too focused on the battle.

The Separatist forces took up positions on the west side of the casino. The Ewoks fired off the first shot, and successfully hit… the door. The knocked down a door leading outside. Oh, right, the walker. Anyways, engagement with the enemy began right away, as two Commando Droids snuck through the door. One of them was close enough to run up and slash at the catapult with his vibroblade. The battle was fairly calm for a moment, just the little catapult manager staring down the commando droids. With help from Teebo, Chewbacca shot at one of the Commando droids, but the first time he missed and blew up a desk, the second time he missed and blew up a double-parked speeder outside (that’ll teach them!)

The Separatists didn’t realize, but the Ewoks were amassing outside the two main doors, and Chewbacca was piloting his walker right towards the casino (they didn’t not notice that – I mean they noticed the walker, not the walking Ewoks – I mean, oh nevermind). The cloaked Umbaran troops that have consistently been our rivals in this war started moving in from the north-west door, while a company of Bespin Guards moved in from the double doors on the south-west door.

(Round 2) Then the excitement really began. An Ewok silently opened on of the doors on the east side, intending to flank the commando droids. A Treadwell droid noticed, and ran – er, rolled – up to warn the commandos, but was too late: one Ewok charged through the door and took down the Treadwell in one swing.
At this point, the old R7 unit we had along decided to do something. Despite being covered in numerous layers of Ewok war-paint, it accessed a control terminal and shut the door in the face of the advancing Bespin Guards.

From then on, Ewoks piled in and dogpiled the Commando Droids. The first one went down quickly, the second one… well, the pair of Ewoks were so fascinated with the second one that instead of attacking it, they simply pushed the ‘on/off’ button. This would normally be fine, but both Ewoks just had to push the button, so the droid was turned back on right away. The next pair of Ewoks to come sailing through the door took down the droid in perfect form.

The Umbarans then moved in, shooting at Chewbacca’s walker. Its armor was quite thick, but they did actually managed to shoot through the walker’s viewing ports and snipe one of the Ewok pilots. That really sent them into a frenzy. The remainder of the Ewoks piled in and took down an Umbaran that had gotten too far away from its commander, gone crazy, and started chewing on the catapult.

The Ewoks also detected a Lightsaber Droid (why is it always me?!?!?!) attempting to maneuver around and assault Chewbacca’s walker. The walker was pretty beat up already, and it’s armor would be useless against a lightsaber, so two Ewoks went after the droid – one was able to hit, but the other couldn’t fit through and instead just ran up to offer morale support.

(Round 3) We really started routing the enemy at this point. The catapult knocked two more Umbarans around, and the wood-hungry one got swarmed by Ewoks. The computer liaison from Cloud City – Lobot, I think they call him? – arrived on the scene and unlocked the door for the guards. One ran out to try and shoot the Ewok that was holding the door open, but missed. An Ewok ran by him, took out their captain, and then the R7 closed the door again before any more guards could get through.

The Ewok facing off with the Lightsaber Droid landed another blow, and the droid decided it was a convenient time to escape. The Ewok landed one more hit as it ran away, unfortunately triggering the droids self-destruct mechanism and blowing both the droid and the noble Ewok sky-high.

Lobot re-opened the door, and a Bespin Guard shot down the Ewok that had been patiently waiting outside. The guard then proceeded to… rush out of cover? What?

Side-note: Apparently, the ‘cybernetic upgrades’ we have heard about require careful monitoring from a superior officer, otherwise they, well, go crazy. When Joey the Ewok took down the Bespin Guard captain… there went the superior officer.

The remaining Umbarans had retreated out of the catapult’s range, but a vengeful Seperatist commander popped out to kill an Ewok – not just any ewok mind you, but one of the recruits we had with. And the Separatist commander turned out to be none other than the legendary Whorm Loathsome himself.

Those Ewoks had really had quite enough. They dogpiled the remaining Bespin Guards, cornered Whorm and an Umbaran, and one of them almost made a run for Lobot before he noticed he couldn’t run through the steel door in the way. Chewie had had quite enough of this as well, and came crashing into the casino with guns blazing. Whorm got roasted pretty good by the walker, and the Ewoks swarmed the remaining Umbaran troops.

Overall a victory for the Rebellion! We have General Whorm Loathsome in custody, but Lobot and the remainder of Loathsome’s command staff managed to escape. But before I get ahead of myself, Chewbacca, as the officer in command, demanded that his battle report be included as well. Unfortunately, General Comedian is the only one of us who can speak Shyriiwook, and the R7 unit was the only one who could translate Ewokese, but its speakers were clogged with paint, so – long story short – nobody could understand the Wookiee. Below is a rough transcription of what I believe I heard:



Lieutenant Glasdren out.

P.S. I would also like to officially recommend, on behalf of General Comedian, that the Ewoks be assigned elsewhere next round. He feels commanding them to be too great an honor, and would like to commend... well, anyone else, really - to High Command as a commander capable of leading the Ewoks to victory.

My squad:

--Laugh it up, Fuzzball, the Cake is a Lie! - Campaign Round 5--
50 Chewbacca and Ewoks in AT-ST
19 Ewok Chieftain
19 Ewok With Catapult
16 Chief Chirpa
15 Teebo, Ewok Sentry
11 Ithorian Commander
8 R7 Astromech Droid
48 Ewok Scout x8
9 Ewok x3
3 Mouse Droid

(198pts. 19 activations)

Lafcadio’s squad:

--Now Who's Scruffy Looking? -Electric Mustard--
27 IG-110 Lightsaber Droid
20 General Whorm Loathsom
15 Lobot, Computer Liaison Officer
45 Umbaran Soldier x3
28 BX Commando Droid Infiltrator x2
13 Bespin Guard Captain
13 Techno Union Combat Engineer
10 Treadwell Droid
9 Battle Droid Officer
15 Bespin Guard x3
3 Mouse Droid

(198pts. 16 activations)

I won 177-25, only Unique lost was General Whorm Loathsome. Props to Lafcadio for keeping calm against a horrible matchup. It was Cloaked vs. stealth melee swarm... and a giant tank.

Bruh.

It's too soon

In advance, as CorellianComedian says later on, sorry for the long report. But he started it.

Again, My text = bold/in parentheses

(Now before going into my battle report, I have a question: Supreme Commander Grievous, can I borrow the keys to the Deathstar? I’m going to go blow up Endor. Also, I’m suing the Techno Union. Just Saying...
Now to on to the lies that my opponent has told you.
So, there’s some good news and some bad news. First the good ne- ... Aw, who am I kidding, it’s all bad news...
It’s true. All of it. The AT-ST, the Ewoks. Everything...)

Lieutenant Glasdren, reporting in to Rebel High Command from the campaign on Falleen: (“From the campaign on Falleen” he says. Yeah, from the broom closet back in the far corner of the battle field where, he hopes, none of my men will find him now that the battle is over and the Separatists have returned for revenge!)

My apologies in advance, commanders, for the long report. The reasons for its length will be laid out below. (Uh, what? I’m pretty sure he just said that the reason the report is so long is that he’s explaining why the report is so long.) I am reporting on behalf of General Comedian, who is currently undergoing therapy at the moment. (I can confirm that. The battle was so horrible that he was getting Post Traumatic Stress Disorder ON BEHALF of the separatist soldiers he killed!) The immediate details of the battle are recorded at the end of the report, preceded by the lengthier description of the details surrounding it.

First off, to explain General Comedian’s absence, I am transmitting the last entry in his combat log:

CorellianComedian’s military log wrote: (Read that last sentence again: “CorellianComedian’s military log wrote.” What? The log wrote it? I didn’t even know you had a log – much less one that could write for itself. I’m telling you, these rebels have issues...)

During a recent meeting of our field commanders, (Quick note about these “meetings...” Have you ever gone to the zoo and watched the monkeys? Ok, imagine dropping a single banana into a big group of monkeys, and -That’s what their meetings are like. General Grievous planted a bug in one of their meetings just to lighten the mood around the Confederate HQ.) I made the innocent remark that the Ewoks had performed excellently in their previous engagement. Commander Juice Man almost immediately recommended me as a capable commander for leading the Ewoks. I was flattered at first, and yet I couldn’t help but notice how eager he was tonot command the Ewoks again. (I’m tellin’ you, CorellianComedian, your superior officers are trying to bump you off man...)
As soon as they boarded the Corellian Legacy, I discovered why. Fur. EVERYWHERE. (It was at this point that the entire galaxy discovered that Commander Comedian is allergic to ewok fur. You could him sneezing before his ship even entered the atmosphere!) They’re setting up drums, and barbecues, and… I don’t even know. This will be an interesting battle, but I will end my recording here. (The sneezes have been edited out for the sake of time.)


It seems the strain of trying to keep the Ewoks under control on the way to the battle proved too much for the General, and he was reduced to frantic, mindless rambling by the time we got to the planet. (Is there something unusual about that?)Thankfully, his strategy had been laid out and discussed in detail before, and so his staff (including myself) were well prepared to direct the battle in his stead. (His strategy, you ask? "Completely flood the city in ewoks. They’re bound to do some damage." -Supreme Commander Spryguy) The mighty Wookiee Chewbacca (The mighty Wookiee who was too much of a coward to come into battle with anything less than a tank with damage reduction and 40 damage. Kudos for style though) was put in charge of the operation, riding in a… well, a walker of some sort. Not sure where he got it, it certainly isn’t a Republic model. And how did they even fit it on the ship? The Legacy isn’t even that big… how… (I know right? When you’ve already jam packed your ship full of the entire galaxy’s supply of teddy bears, who would have thought that you could also squeeze in an overgrown titanium chicken?)

Anyways, I digress. (He takes after his commanding officer, the Comedian himself!) We took up positions on the east side of a casino – well, most of us did. An ambitious Ewok set up a catapult in the middle of it. We had had trouble trying to evacuate the casino-goers until they built that catapult in there. (In the “casino-goers” defense, your ewoks tied them to stakes and began setting up campfires...)

Chief Chirpa, one of his lieutenants, and one of our Ithorian officers adopted a storage room as their base of operations, and promptly started eating the lunches they had packed. I might have also seen a deck of cards come out, but I was too focused on the battle. (You were the one holding the deck of cards... so much for focus.)

The Separatist forces took up positions on the west side of the casino. (Process of elimination, don’t ya know? He takes East side, I take west side. It just makes sense if you think about it. Please, Captain Glass-half-empty, or whatever your name is, your readers are smarter than this.) The Ewoks fired off the first shot, and successfully hit… the door. The knocked down a door leading outside. Oh, right, the walker. Anyways, engagement with the enemy began right away, as two Commando Droids snuck through the door. (Their radio contact went like this: “What’s that noise?” “I don’t know. Sounds like someone sneezing. Let’s check it out.”) One of them was close enough to run up and slash at the catapult with his vibroblade. (He was actually using one of those Corellian Made razors that Savage Opress had given him. He figured that those would be more deadly. I hear that Opress has swapped out his lightsaber for one of those things!) The battle was fairly calm for a moment, just the little catapult manager staring down the commando droids. (And the sound of sneezing coming from the Corellian Legacy Legacy.) With help from Teebo, Chewbacca shot at one of the Commando droids, but the first time he missed and blew up a desk, the second time he missed and blew up a double-parked speeder outside (that’ll teach them!) (Uh, yeah. That was the Corellian Legacy Legacy. Mr. Comedian didn’t look to happy about that. And then his sneezing fit broke out again... Construction of the Corellian Legacy Legacy Legacy has already begun, I assume?)

The Separatists didn’t realize, but the Ewoks were amassing outside the two main doors, (Couldn’t hear them over the sound of sneezing. But we knew they were there. There were so many of them that they were blotting out the sun!) and Chewbacca was piloting his walker right towards the casino (You remember that feeling when you first learned to drive, and had no sense of control over your vehicle as it barrels towards impending doom? I think that that’s how Chewy felt at this moment) (they didn’t not notice that – I mean they noticed the walker, not the walking Ewoks – I mean, oh nevermind). The cloaked Umbaran troops that have consistently been our rivals in this war started moving in from the north-west door, while a company of Bespin Guards moved in from the double doors on the south-west door.

(Round 2) Then the excitement really began. An Ewok silently opened one of the doors on the east side, intending to flank the commando droids. (And the door was the only thing that was silent. Besides the sneezing, ewoks singing along to Wicket’s newest hit song: “Oteenie” could be heard from every corner of the building.) A Treadwell droid noticed, and ran – er, rolled – up to warn the commandos, (They were all: “Yeah, we heard.”) but was too late: one Ewok charged through the door and took down the Treadwell in one swing. (No comment.)
At this point, the old R7 unit we had along decided to do something. Despite being covered in numerous layers of Ewok war-paint, it accessed a control terminal and shut the door in the face of the advancing Bespin Guards. (With the level of training that the rebels give their troops, I was surprised that the R7 even knew what a door was!)

From then on, Ewoks piled in and dogpiled the Commando Droids. (Imagine opening a door into an aquarium! The ewoks gushed like water through that door!) The first one went down quickly, the second one… well, the pair of Ewoks were so fascinated with the second one that instead of attacking it, they simply pushed the ‘on/off’ button. This would normally be fine, but both Ewoks just had to push the button, so the droid was turned back on right away. The next pair of Ewoks to come sailing through the door took down the droid in perfect form. (NOW HOLD UP! Don’t you go no further! That is a flat out lie! That is absolutely untrue! Don’t you dare take the only part of that battle that went my way and pretend like it didn’t happen! Rebel Commander Spryguy, and everyone in this war ravaged galaxy, These two ewoks waddled up to my BX Commando droid and rolled consecutive 1s!!! I suggest you fire this this man immediately!There the truth is out! Let me know when your court martial is scheduled for, CC, I’ll send you flowers. -after you get over your ewok allergies.)

The Umbarans then moved in, shooting at Chewbacca’s walker. Its armor was quite thick, (“Thick!” you know, like the casing on the iphone 6) but they did actually managed to shoot through the walker’s viewing ports and snipe one of the Ewok pilots. That really sent them into a frenzy. The remainder of the Ewoks piled in and took down an Umbaran that had gotten too far away from its commander, gone crazy, and started chewing on the catapult. (Chewing? Through his armored space-helmet? And in regards to “gone crazy," yeah, he was originally from Corellia.)

The Ewoks also detected a Lightsaber Droid (why is it always me?!?!?! (Says the man who attacked me with an almost invincible tank and an army of rabid gummy bears!)) attempting to maneuver around and assault Chewbacca’s walker. (He was actually going to see what all the sneezing was about.) The walker was pretty beat up already, (Naturally. It was under the command of CorellianComedian. What did you expect?) and it’s armor would be useless against a lightsaber, (Or a Corellian-made razor.) so two Ewoks went after the droid – one was able to hit, but the other couldn’t fit through and instead just ran up to offer morale support. (That’s MORAL support. I’ll explain below.)

(Round 3) We really started routing the enemy at this point. The catapult knocked two more Umbarans around, and the wood-hungry one got swarmed by Ewoks. The computer liaison from Cloud City – Lobot, I think they call him? (Yep! Good ol’ Lobot! I Will have to speak to him about those reinforcements he promised me though...) – arrived on the scene and unlocked the door for the guards. (He was like: “Guys, GUYS! Turn and pull. Turn And Pull!” Yep, Bespin is lucky to have this man.) One ran out to try and shoot the Ewok that was holding the door open, but missed. (He tripped over one of the other ewoks...) An Ewok ran by him, (The Bespin guard was like: “Sup dude!” sigh... I think Bespin is getting desperate in regards to infantry.) took out their captain, (He hit him in the head with a stick. A STICK! How did this man become a captain?!) and then the R7 closed the door again before any more guards could get through.

The Ewok facing off with the Lightsaber Droid landed another blow, and the droid decided it was a convenient time to escape. (His exact words were: “Ain’t nobody got time for this.” I’m out. Peace, hamster man.” The ewok was a little less courteous:) The Ewok landed one more hit as it ran away, unfortunately triggering the droids self-destruct mechanism and blowing both the droid and the noble Ewok sky-high. (Remember what I said about MORAL support? The MORAL of that story is don’t hit droids with sticks, kids. You’ll get blown up. AND you'll shoot your eye out, kid! That was the moral support that the second ewok was trying to give.)

Lobot re-opened the door, (Lobot: “Come on guys! Press the handicap door-open button!” Bespin is a little less lucky to have the safety of cloud city in the hands of these guards...) and a Bespin Guard shot down the Ewok that had been patiently waiting outside. (He was turning and pulling – from the wrong side.) The guard then proceeded to… rush out of cover? What? (Now, nowhere in ‘terms and agreements’ of working with the Bespin guards did it say that their Intelligence Quotient was going to be any higher than that of a mud puddle... I was just kinda... well... hoping... you know...)

Side-note: Apparently, the ‘cybernetic upgrades’ we have heard about require careful monitoring from a superior officer, otherwise they, well, go crazy. (Uh, yeah, that... Back at headquarters, as we were preparing for the battle, I passed two Techno Union scientists talking in the hallway... I overheard one of them saying: “Hey, wouldn’t it be funny if we set the dials on the cyborgs so that as soon as they get more than ten steps away from their commander they start yodeling, breakdancing, and running up to everyone to give them hugs?” I assumed they were joking. They weren’t.) When Joey the Ewok took down the Bespin Guard captain… there went the superior officer. (Hey, Wat Tambor! I know you're reading this! That wasn’t funny! My lawsuit is currently being processed. Once I’m through with you guys, the Union is CERTAINLY going to go on strike!)

The remaining Umbarans had retreated out of the catapult’s range, (Umbaran #1: “Hey man, you wanna stay here and get hit in the face with a rock?” Umbaran #2: “Meh, Nah. Let’s go stand over there.” #1: “Over there, right in front of that tidal wave of ewoks coming towards us?” #2: “Yeah. Why not?” Supreme Commander Grievous, with all due respect, can we please stop getting our recruits from Corellia?) but a vengeful Seperatist commander popped out to kill an Ewok – not just any ewok mind you, but one of the recruits we had with. (It’s only fair. You kill our useless Bespin recruits, we kill your useless ewok recruits.) And the Separatist commander turned out to be none other than the legendary Whorm Loathsome himself. (He jumped out, drew his blaster, and yelled: “Freeze turkeys!” ...And there was a bumper-crop of awkwardness to be had by all that day. Seriously guys, if you ever want to be intimidating, never lead with the line: "Freeze turkeys." Please tell me we didn’t have that stunt on tape... Even the ewoks were cringing... I think Whorm has been watching too many spy movies...)

Those Ewoks had really had quite enough. (No, I think they were just getting started...) They dogpiled the remaining Bespin Guards, cornered Whorm and an Umbaran, (But without the corner...) and one of them almost made a run for Lobot before he noticed he couldn’t run through the steel door in the way. (I’m surprised his tiny brain even yielded that information. He had been running in place with his face plastered against the door for quite some time.) Chewie had had quite enough of this as well, and came crashing into the casino with guns blazing. (He was also heard yelling from the cocpit: “Grawragwagawaga hrwawgua” Which translates as “Freeze Turkeys!” Sigh, let’s just move on...) Whorm got roasted pretty good by the walker, (Since Whorm apparently wasn’t satisfied with his first attempt to give the Confederacy a bad name by opening his mouth, as he was being engulfed in a sea of ewoks, he stood tall, pulled a grenade from his belt, and yelled: “IT’S A GOOD DAY TO DIE!” ...Forgot to pull the grenade pin. That’s when Chewie fried him with his cannon...) and the Ewoks swarmed the remaining Umbaran troops. (I am proud to report that, upon the death of that "Umbaran," there are no longer any Corellians in the ranks of the Confederacy.)

Overall a victory for the Rebellion! (Naw dude, you killed some of your own. What’s the president of Corellia going to say when he hears that you’ve killed some of his citizens?) We have General Whorm Loathsome in custody, (Oh, is that who that was. All I saw was a group of ewoks sweeping ahes into a pile.) but Lobot and the remainder of Loathsome’s command staff managed to escape. (Yep, Lobot and the Mouse Droid: “The remainder of Loathsome’s command staff.” We just left the Battle Droid officer and the Techno Union Engineer locked in the closet. Serves them right!) But before I get ahead of myself, (Why stop now?) Chewbacca, as the officer in command, demanded that his battle report be included as well. Unfortunately, General Comedian is the only one of us who can speak Shyriiwook, and the R7 unit was the only one who could translate Ewokese, but its speakers were clogged with paint, so – long story short – nobody could understand the Wookiee. (How did you know he was demanding to give his battle report then?) Below is a rough transcription of what I believe I heard:

Chewbacca wrote:
Roooouggh aaarrgghhghg wooooooorrghg alloooghghg iiiirrrgh aaaauuuurrrgh urt goooooorggghghg veeaaarggh rorgh murg gghoooorrrgh daaargh oroorooorgh ggghhooorruuuugghh aaaaaaaagh eeerrgh owooorgh alloooooogh muraaagh orrrrghgh!

(Fortunately, the Confederate translators understand Shyriiwook perfectly. First of all, you misspelled “wooooooorghg.” There’s only one ‘r.’ Now, here’s the translation: “Who was that sneezing?” Not the most efficient language ever...)

Lieutenant Glasdren out.

P.S. I would also like to officially recommend, on behalf of General Comedian, that the Ewoks be assigned elsewhere next round. He feels commanding them to be too great an honor, and would like to commend... well, anyone else, really - to High Command as a commander capable of leading the Ewoks to victory.

(Now, yes I lost 177 to 25, but in my defense, with the combination of the Techno Union trying to be funny, having almost all my troops lie about their place of birth (saying they were from some respectable planet – as opposed to from Corellia), and having the entirety of my Bespin guard brigade probably suffering from brain damage due to smoke inhalation (Now, that’s just a theory, but with their home being called “Cloud City” is sort of an indicator...) It was practically like going into battle with just a Mouse Droid! (Which I’m sure still would have gotten us at least the 25 points if it had been given the chance, being a confederate Droid and all that. Trust me, it would have found a way.) to those who have cast their lot with the rebels, I say: Fear the Confederacy! We will crush you!

And to the CorellianComedian, I say: I hope you get over your ewok allergies soon, and, you might want to try some Benadryl. Flowers and a card are on the way.)

I too, had those same feelings during my time with the Ewoks.

Hahaha love it Lafcadio.

And about to send out allocations for the final round. Message me with what you need to win. If we win every single battle this round, we win. Which means everyone needs to bring their A game. For the Confederacy!

Rebel Allocations are all complete.

Agent Scythe, reporting from Coruscant:

Information network says *fzzt* Separatist Commander Lafcadio is being moved to the planet. *fzt* *fzap* Strategy must be working. *fzoooorr POP* Separatist agents tracking signal. No time for lengthier message. *fazaak*

Also, officially request *zzzzisszzz* to NOT receive Agent Red's hand-me-down *zizip* transmitting equipment.

Agent Scythe out.