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Wording and feedback question Options
Neifi
Posted: Saturday, March 17, 2012 9:00:31 AM
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Posts: 75
Hey all,

Playing out an idea on a piece and wanted to see about possible feedback/suggestions

This is the working version of about what I am going for



with the main questions coming in the two new abilities

Burrow (On this characters turn, it may burrow itself or resurface instead of moving. Burrowing does not provoke attacks of opportunity, and burrowed characters can only be attacked by ranged attacks from an adjacent enemy. A Burrowed character may not attack)

Swallow (On an attack roll of 16 or greater, targeted enemy is considered swallowed and is immediately removed from gameplay. At the start of each round, any swallowed characters receive 10 damage. Once per round swallowed characters can make a save, returning to the board adjacent to this character on a roll of 16 or greater)

I don't think they are too confusing/complicated, but want to verify and maybe get opinions too. And does the wording sound okay, or do people have improvement suggestions?

Then, should I maybe drop the damage down and instead possibly give a damage increase on swallow? I had the damage at 30 until this morning, and I'm leaning towards going at least that low again.

What do people think? Any and all suggestions welcomed! (and needed, lol)
surf_rider56
Posted: Saturday, March 17, 2012 9:09:47 AM
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Is this intended for the Starship mini game? Since this big guy was big enough to swallow the Falcon, it would be kinda useless on a "regular" board; it would take up the whole board. If it's just a fun intellectual exercise, good job BigGrin
TheHutts
Posted: Saturday, March 17, 2012 9:24:13 AM
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Why do you need an ability called "Untamed Beast", when it functions exactly the same as Savage?
Neifi
Posted: Saturday, March 17, 2012 9:24:21 AM
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@surf_rider56

hahaha, no kidding huh.

But on Wiki they mention the average adult was but about 10 meters long (for reference, that's about 5x Vader-height)

The one that swallowed the Flacon and the ones Adasca was messing with are just the giant mega-ones that were out there constantly growing for countless years BigGrin

This one is designed to go with the D&D Purple Worm, which is on a huge base and it is attempting to represent a smaller or more-average Exogorth one could possibly come across
Neifi
Posted: Saturday, March 17, 2012 9:26:16 AM
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TheHutts wrote:
Why do you need an ability called "Untamed Beast", when it functions exactly the same as Savage?


Don't want the forced-movement part, so this eliminates that aspect.
surf_rider56
Posted: Saturday, March 17, 2012 9:31:33 AM
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Location: Orange County, CA
Neifi wrote:
@surf_rider56

hahaha, no kidding huh.

But on Wiki they mention the average adult was but about 10 meters long (for reference, that's about 5x Vader-height)

This one is designed to go with the D&D Purple Worm, which is on a huge base and it is attempting to represent a smaller or more-average Exogorth one could possibly come across


Ahhhh ... that explains it; didn't go to Wook, just used my memory of the movie version. In that case, good one!
Neifi
Posted: Saturday, March 17, 2012 10:01:21 AM
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surf_rider56 wrote:

Ahhhh ... that explains it; didn't go to Wook, just used my memory of the movie version. In that case, good one!


Yeah, I was kind of shocked they were that small myself. Originally was figuring I was going to have to sculpt a half-board massive mini-swallower and still be forced to call it "young", lol

Now figure I can go with that Purple thing and just a bit of a WOTC-like stretching of scale to allow for swallowing BigGrin
Darthbane53
Posted: Sunday, March 18, 2012 1:56:52 AM
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I know he lacks some of the special abilities that are uber, but with those stats as a BASE, he needs a point adjustment of at least 14+ points.
FlyingArrow
Posted: Sunday, March 18, 2012 7:43:03 AM
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"Ranged" is not a SWM term. I think you want "non-melee".

Burrowed and resurfaced need crisper definitions. Is a burrowed character removed from the board? It doesn't say, but implies some kind of movement since it says it doesn't provoke AoO. I assume resurfacing removes the Burrowed status? It doesn't say that, but that seems to be the implication. If he's removed from the board, can he resurface somewhere else or only where he burrowed? If only where he burrowed, what if another character now occupies that spot? If somewhere else, can he show up on the other side of the board on the next turn, or only a certain number of spaces?

Specify when characters that are swallowed can make their saves. "once per round" is ambiguous. If it's not specified, someone gets to choose when to roll the save. Who chooses? The owner of the character or the owner of the space slug? Probably makes most sense to allow the swallowed character to still activate, but not be able to do anything other than roll the save on their turn.
Neifi
Posted: Wednesday, March 21, 2012 3:15:28 PM
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Joined: 2/26/2010
Posts: 75
Hey, thanks for the replies you two! Sorry I wasn't able to reply earlier; I was stuck out in the middle of no where without internet under 3feet of snow in S*hole Arizona... Meh

@Darthbane53

Yeah, that's what I was thinking as well. But when using the calculator, I come up with just over 50 for the base stats, where Melee, Speed 4 and the Savage-like ability drop it back down to like 40. I probably didnt add enough for Swallow and Burrow when I calculated it though, so I will probably bump it up to like 48-49 to test it in small games and see if we think its still coming up too low. I do figure the Cost and Damage are the two things more likely to fluctuate in the near future depending on how it goes, lol





FlyingArrow wrote:
"Ranged" is not a SWM term. I think you want "non-melee".

Burrowed and resurfaced need crisper definitions. Is a burrowed character removed from the board? It doesn't say, but implies some kind of movement since it says it doesn't provoke AoO. I assume resurfacing removes the Burrowed status? It doesn't say that, but that seems to be the implication. If he's removed from the board, can he resurface somewhere else or only where he burrowed? If only where he burrowed, what if another character now occupies that spot? If somewhere else, can he show up on the other side of the board on the next turn, or only a certain number of spaces?

Specify when characters that are swallowed can make their saves. "once per round" is ambiguous. If it's not specified, someone gets to choose when to roll the save. Who chooses? The owner of the character or the owner of the space slug? Probably makes most sense to allow the swallowed character to still activate, but not be able to do anything other than roll the save on their turn.


First, thanks a ton for the thoughts! Really helpful on these abilities which were much more difficult to word out then I normally see and anticipated. I usually try to stay away from completly new concepts because of this, but certain pieces like this and the A.Keto I did, demand it.

Yeah, non-melee should have been there, so got that corrected.

On Burrow, I was actually trying to get the character under-ground when burrowed. Where the mini would still be able to move and pop-up other locations on the board, but be out of reach from attacking (without first resurfacing) and melee attacks on it. Basically, it would be a giant hole moving around the board if he was burrowed. And while that isnt ideal, it wouldnt be able to be attacked at all until coming back to the surface if it was removed from the board. I think I did rely too heavily on the assumption people would treat the proper definition of Burrow as the game definition though too. What do you think, this sound better?

Burrow (On this characters turn, it may burrow itself under the game-board, or resurface, instead of moving. A Burrowed character may move as normal, but must resurface to make further attacks. Burrowing does not provoke attacks of opportunity, and burrowed characters can only be attacked by non-melee attacks from an adjacent enemy.)


and here is the piece itself:


When reading that while being able to see the mini itself, does it become a bit clearer? Or you think it still needs refining?


Then, yeah, cant believe I missed that :/ So on Swallow, how about this

Swallow (On an attack roll of 16 or greater, targeted enemy is considered swallowed and is immediately removed from gameplay. At the start of each round, any swallowed characters receive 10 damage. Swallowed characters may activate as normal to attempt a save, returning to the board adjacent to this character on a roll of 16 or greater)

That sound better?
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