no...i don't have a job due to health issues

Then quit reading the thread. Since I joined I've noticed that this site has become more and more "lock and delete" happy. Heck, that's about to push me to Gamers site.

If you think this place is lock and delete happy, you havent seen anything yet. I know of a a forum where like half of the threads end up locked or deleted, sometimes for stupid reasons, and if you try to post asking in general what was wrong with the first thread, that one is likely to be deleted with no response as well. Its almost enough to make you scream.

Big sigh.

Well I can extend my olive branch for yesterday.

Alot of things were said that were taken wrong by alot of people and it blew up. Obviously I'm not exclusively responsible. But I did little after the fact to let it go.

So let me be be the first to apologize for anything I said that was taken the wrong way. I can understand when people are getting to the point where they are so used to being defensive, than anything can be read wrong or over scrutinized. I think Dean is at the point where he's feeling cornered and he's having a bit of a hard time with it.

My intentions were to let folks no that there are human feelings involved in all this. Human feelings on both sides. I was hoping we could all transcend the "legalities" of the V-set and look at the "emotional" issues one human to another.

It apparently came across as me accusing Dean of being jealous of Bloomilk. Dean Is one of my top 5 best internet friends, and probably top 20 real life friends. So one friend to another I apologize for the misunderstanding.

I don't know where I'm at personally with the debate. I don't want to take sides. It's bad for business

I just know I'm on the side that wants to keep playing and keep creating.

I've stayed pretty quiet reading and digesting all of this. I have to say that a lot of times people do misconstrue what is said. A lot of times people also misinsterpret what is being posted and read things a totally different way then what is posted.

People also get "caught in the heat of the moment". This happens to everyone - especially to those that commit a LOT of time to the game, community and the future of both at their own personal sacrifice and expense. Lobostele (Aaron) is one of those people and he stated that a few pages ago. Even still I make sacrifices far beyond what the "call of duty" would be and did what Aaron did - let it engulf my work life to a point that it paralyzed me to do what I should be doing during a work day.

I also in some ways resent the V-Set from a standpoint that you can't even observe a match on Vassal as a casual observer. How you can be differentiated between a guy that could've signed up to a guy just happening to be on Vassal is a little silly. If I said "yes I signed up for this tournament". I can watch. I didn't so I can't. That doesn't change WHO I am. Either way I'm not going to go off posting all over the forums everywhere what the new great piece that is being playtested but from another standpoint I also understand that as with any major project secrecy is a key to success.

I've worked very close with every Admin in Gamers at my time. I have known them fairly well over the years and as "internet folk" many of them I greatly dislike mainly for the way they seem to post and react to posts (yes, I'm always wrong!). At the same time, I know that if we had the chance to hang, many I would get on very will with (Billiv15 especially given our agreeing viewpoint on sports and beverages). Again, I have to point to the fact that it is VERY hard to understand people only knowing the "internet person" and not the "person inside". The person that probably best exemplifies their character of both is Ray who is pretty consistent in both accounts. I tend to be very impatient when it comes to on-line posting and that is a huge character flaw that I will admit to which has cost me a ton of credibility and also lends to me misinterpreting many a post, many a cirumstance and many a person. I feel this has also cost me a ton of what I considerd very close friends over the years.

When I was at Gamers I really lacked the understanding of why it didn't seem elitist. I always pushed the casual, fun elements (which I feel now really lack at gamers) and really emphasized that it was a site for everyone. I never understood the whole BM thing. I never came here, never used the squad builder, never used the forums. I never saw a point to, and to a degree still don't because at the time I never really saw a reason why people didn't go to gamers.

I understand moreso now that not everyone likes "cheeseburgers" but some people also like "subs" and others heck they want chinese. the point is not everyone is going to like every facet or every aspect of everything and not only that people may not like the way it comes out too. I like my steak Medium Rare. Dean might like his Well Done. What this relates to is how the information is presented and flows. Some people want to know everything. They also want everything out in the open and not hidden. That sometimes however isn't always the best way for the final effect and the V-Set is definitely an example of that. If everyone knew everything now it would come under backlash and scruitny and "why does this guy do this" etc.. etc.. Also, what would be the fun in knowing everything?

Nowadays I don't really go to Gamers much anymore and although I greatly enjoyed my time there and feel strongly the game just wouldn't exist without the site (or wouldn't be what it is now without it), I just have my own thing I work on with runboard. Gamers is still is a very crucial part of the community as is this site and these forums. I feel the community needs both but the reality is not everyone is going to get along, not everyone is going to visit both and not everyone is going to like each other - that is just life. The point is we all have to get along especially if we're all trying to work together and do our best to ensure the future of the game. Otherwise the stupidity will lead to the numbers to thin and thin more. Then someone else will leave. Another will go and then the community will shrink to the point of non-existent.

I want this community to stay strong, I want to be involved (on my own terms) and I am happy with runboard and what I work on there as it is a niche thing. I also want to see the positivity overtake the negativity and although all of us might disagree at times, we need to ensure that we all keep in light the fact that we are all trying to accomplish the same thing - extend the future of the game and make it the best it can be.

So in close, I want to say one final thing. Reading Dean's quote above of DarthJak is just unacceptable. There is only one way to deal with this. As much as Dean and I have been as close as brothers (I was one of two people to have Founder status on Gamers), and at other times we have been at odds to take this to a personal level is just not ethical, and cannot be tolerated.

I also want to extend an olive branch of goodwill to the following people all of whom I feel I've hurt, spoke ill about in public or private or in the heat of the moment or who I feel I have lost a feeling of friendship or kinship with in hopes that we can re-connect in a positive manner:

- Dnemiller
- Lobostele (one of my closest internet freinds who I was very upset with for an e-mail he sent that I disagreed with)
- Billiv15
- Grand Moff Boris
- Dvader831
- Thereisnotry
- Ruhk

Hopefully I can make amends with all of the above. The past is the past, hopefully the future can be brighter.

So thats why it takes so long for dinner to show up!



*sniffle* That was beautiful, Fool.

I am also slightly confused at this comment. Was it in this thread? Somewhere else?

Anyways, as one of the 'named' people I'd like to let Fool know that I have always considered him my friend, even when tempers were flared and times were tough. Perhaps my new-found busyness has given the wrong impression. I will happily hang out with you and have some good star wars fun, and I certainly miss your Fool-ish touch about Gamers. More fun and casual-ness is always welcome, and as far as I'm concerned you're as welcomed as any other user(which means.. MORE THAN WELCOMED!) to post whatever you want, wherever, whenever. {Provided all posts comply with the CoC :P}

~Ruhk

Edit: Did you mean the post where Dean flat out called DarthJak a liar?

Exactly. Picture yourself at the bar with the Ginormous Schooner's in hand and solve all the worlds problems!!!

Seriously though that has definitely been my largest obstacle in the past and I know it seems lonely at times when you post, post, pm, e-mail, skype, yim and get no response for ages and sit and wonder "what have I freaking done - I guess no one likes me so I may as well stop wasting my time" but there again you know that all to well (Lol - I'm resigning! I'm resigining! I'm resigning).

AS to Sithborg's post, Dean's was RIGHT above mine. It was the reason I posted so someone here must have nuked it.

Oh and shameless plug: http://bswmce1.runboard.com/ (Edited)

Ah, okay.
Yes, things like that are probably better left 'out of the public's eye' but it is worth noting that Dean does get stuck with a lot of flack. And constantly being harrased like that.. well, would probably make me delete my account and start over.

RE: Dean's post.
interesting to note that both you and Steve came to the conclusion that it was unnecessary to have that copy of the PM up there. Seems that you two can still agree on some things.. from time to time :D

@Steve.. you're posting on Bloomilk.. but you're not on Skype?? You monkey! Oh well.. Midterm in a half hour.. so I'll have to try to catch you later. :)