Greetings Fellow Commanders,

Our momentum is shifting again back towards us. I bring you good news from Coruscant. As all three prongs of our assault secured the capital. With General's Verjal and Comedian winning their fights, I also succeeded in my fight. Obi-Wan and his friend Anakin working together as one unit worked with Yoda directing precision strikes from the back of a Kybuck and Commander Wolffe and his Wolfpack providing protection for the Jedi. Together they defeated the criminal organization known as Black Sun but many of their leaders managed to escape, sans 2 Vigo's. Amanaman has pledged his support to our cause and we continue to grow stronger.

Final Score 125-0
No Uniques Lost

Essentially I had control of gambit and he was forced to come at me. I used simple precision gallops by Kybuck to thin the herd before running him back to a Wolfpack Trooper. I did leave him exposed for a round to kill the enemy door control but using his knowledge of Soresu he prevented some of that damage and then was able to regroup at gambit where I closed ranks and used my door advantage to keep him from getting many good looks until time ran out.

General Comedian, reporting in from Coruscant:

The Ewoks have once again overwhelmed the enemy to bring us victory. This time around, I elected to rendezvous with the Ewoks outside the nightclub, instead of going through the... er... hardship... of enjoying their company on the way there.

Teebo led a small strike team behind a speeder (Zam Wesell's speeder, I believe), while Talon, Sugi, and the Ewok company took up positions inside a nearby building. The Imperial forces had already arrived and begun threatening Zam Wesell. Shortly after, we discovered two things that still amaze me: (1) Palpatine himself had come on this mission, and (2) his troops had gone to the trouble of bringing his spinny-office-chair along on the mission.

Most of the Ewoks lacked ranged weapons, but Teebo managed to pick off a few of the Stormtroopers guarding the entrance. Again, we found ourselves facing down the legendary 501st Legion. As the 501st started to engage, they exposed themselves to cover fire from Sugi and another Ewok bowman. While the brave trio exchanged fire with the 501st - who could find no mark to fire at, between Teebo's stealth and Sugi's hit-and-run tactics - the remainder of the Ewoks slowly crept out from cover, crossed the street, and began gathering near the entrance.

With the regiment of 501st troopers sufficiently beaten in firefight, a couple of Ewok Scouts advanced to the entrance. Darth Vader himself charged up, prepared to strike down the assailants, and Aurra Sing waited in the shadows to provide cover fire.

And then the flood broke.

At a signal from Teebo, the Ewoks charged. Some cornered Vader against the entrance, others swarmed Palpatine on his office chair - and unfortunately for him, no amount of spinning could save him from Ewok spears.

As the last of the 501st went down - and Sugi too far away to help - Vader smashed his assailants. The Ewoks are a force to be reckoned with, but none can stand before Vader's blade. Despite even his powerful strokes, though, the Ewoks slipped past and did Palpatine in. Unable to use his dark powers on the Ewoks without harming himself, he had to flee for his life, lest he perish alongside his heavy chair. Vader finally was overcome by the swarming Ewoks.

Aurra's powerful sniper rifle could easily pick off an Ewok warrior, but it's rate of fire was too slow to take them all down in time. Sugi rushed into the nightclub, rifle blazing. With both exits blocked, Aurra Sing charged our ranks, and mercilessly struck down Teebo. The brave Ewok had gotten carried away in the pending victory, and I had not noticed his dangerous position until it was too late. With the Ewoks too shocked at the death of their trusted battlefield coordinater, Sing escaped through a window.

But Teebo's sacrifice was not in vain. Zam Wesell has joined our cause. Vader's Fist has been broken. The Dark Lord himself was outmatched on the battlefield and forced to flee. We have shown the galaxy that we will not be intimidated by a fallen Jedi and his master; on the contrary, we stand as strong as ever for freedom and justice.

High Command, I am pleased to have been of service to the Jedi and this exiled Republic. I have regained my confidence and, I hope, your trust. We will see the galaxy rid of these tyrants yet.

General Comedian out.


* * *

I ran this:

--We're Downsizing Our Infantry - Campaign Round 3--
33 Sugi
32 Talon Karrde, Information Broker
19 Ewok Chieftain
16 Chief Chirpa
15 Teebo, Ewok Sentry
8 R7 Astromech Droid
36 Ewok Scout x6
5 Ewok Warrior
30 Ewok x10
6 Mouse Droid x2

(200pts. 25 activations)

Lafcadio had:

--Vader + Sidious + Stormtroopers = AWESOME!!! Aka:Operation Sandstorm - But LEGAL this time! Yay!--
45 Darth Vader of Lothal
33 Aurra Sing, Assassin
33 Emperor Palpatine on Throne
88 501st Legion Stormtrooper x8
8 R7 Astromech Droid

(207pts. 12 activations)

I won 178-115; I lost Teebo, Ewok Sentry and Lafcadio lost Darth Vader of Lothal and Emperor Palpatine on Throne.

Laf had a horrible matchup, and got most of the bad rolls as well. I won initiative all but one or two rounds. I won setup, so I let him take right side, and I took left. Teebo sat around picking off stormies (turns out, Stealth is REALLY good when nobody against you has Accurate). Sugi mobile attacked in and out, taking down Stormies and dodging back in. The Ewoks slowly crept out, and once Vader got close they dogpiled in. I got a good lead taking down stormies, but Laf was keeping up with Gambit. I finally brought Talon out and hid him around the corner from Vader - stopping a crucial turn for Surprise Attack and rerolling Armor saves. Vader was cutting down Ewoks left and right, but just couldn't stop them all.

And then, like a dork, I moved Teebo in to keep Advanced Warning. I know I moved him in close enough, because Aurra Sing ran up with 20 seconds left and killed him

I expected Laf to just have Aurra run away; so props to him for killing a squad cornerstone in the last few seconds.

They just need to be a little more creative... don't worry, they'll be back

pound per pound, trading Teebo for 2 Sith lords is a total deal.

RIP, my 'lil Ewok freind.

I had a warrior in there just to fill up the remaining two points, and surprisingly, he actually came in handy. Downed one or two 501st Stormies. Teebo was also the offensive MVP of the first half of the game. Pretty much downed a Stormy every round for the first three or four rounds.

Incoming transmission: Dated 4/11/16, 5:16pm Pacific Standard Time


The Republic have fought back and with sheer power and incompetence on the part of the Imperial commander, have won a victory on Kamino. The squads consisted of the following;

Imperial

Daala's SS--
27 Admiral Daala
20 Admiral Piett
16 Grand Admiral Rulf Yage
14 Scout Trooper Officer
39 Elite Scout Trooper x3
16 Bothan Saboteur x2
8 R7 Astromech Droid
48 Scout Trooper x6
6 RA-7 Death Star Protocol Droid
6 Mouse Droid x2

(200pts. 19 activations)



Republic

--Huff and Puff and Bly You Down--
50 General Aayla Secura
30 Commander Bly
17 Felucia Clone Trooper
75 Star Corps Trooper x5
8 501st Legion Clone Trooper
8 R7 Astromech Droid
5 Spaarti Clone Trooper Demolitionist
6 Mouse Droid x2

(199pts. 13 activations)


The final score was 105-93. No Uniques were lost. Battle report to follow...................................................


Edit:

Round 1 consisted of movement and both sides heading towards gambit.

Round 2 has both sides getting gambit. 10-10.

Round 3=StarCorps defeats Elite Scout. Comm Bly defeats Scout Trooper. Aayla Secura kills Elite Scout Trooper. 501st kills Bothan Saboteur. Scout Trooper kills Star Corps Trooper. Scout trooper kills Spaarti Clone Trooper. Star Corps trooper defeats Scout Trooper. Scout Trooper defeats Mouse droid. Scout Trooper kills Star Corps Trooper. Imps get gambit. Republic 60-58.

Rnd 4= Comm Bly defeats Scout Trooper. Scout Trooper kills 501st Trooper. Star Corps Trooper kills Scout Trooper. Another Star Corps Trooper defeats a Scout Trooper. Still another Star Corps Trooper kills yet another Scout Trooper. Star Corps Trooper defeats a mouse droid. Elite Scout Trooper kills the Felucia Clone Trooper. Each side get gambit as time expires. Republic 105-93.

Commanders,

I know all of you have personally experienced the throes of death, destruction and defeat at the hands of these insurgents. And only Commander Juiceman was able to complete his mission. For this he will be recognized with a formal promotion to the rank of Rear Admiral. Well done, and continue to lead your brethren to victory.
With the slough of recent losses some would say we should admit defeat, but I say we should push back harder then we ever have before. While the treacherous Jedi dogs and their traitorous clone allies reap the spoils of their war and expect us to limp away and recover; we will instead counter and attack with a ferocity and boldness never before seen. We have received intelligence of the enemies movements and you will be assigned to interdict their actions as follows:


Commander Amadeus
I am dispatching you to Klatooine. One of our Black Sun connections has informed us of a problem on his homeworld. It seems the Republic is attempting to recruit the Klatooinian forces out from under our control. They are a strong race and also we are partially aligned with them already through Black Sun. Bring the rest of their species into our fold and deny the Republic this victory.

Rear Admiral Juiceman,
I wish to personally congratulate you on your "diplomatic mission" to Kashyyk. As we speak the first shipment of... workers... are now in our shipyards and assembling our latest weapons. Since you so skillfully handled one race of fur-covered savages I am assigning you to intercept the Republic forces on Hoth and capture the shipment of Wampas they are attempting to retrieve. I'm sure your skill and tact in dealing with the locals will aid you in your mission, and I'm equally sure that you are a better chess player thanks to Thrawn.

Commander JerJerrod4,
You will accompany Rear Admiral DarthMaim on the Taris operation and provide top cover against a possible Republic counterattack. While the bulk of their forces may be in the undercity and I'm sure that is where the heat of the battle is, it never hurts to be prepared. And take the opportunity to retrieve the powerful HK droids that have been rumored to still roam the planet's ruins. Imperial Research and Development are already waiting at the landing pad for technological samples.

Rear Admiral DarthMaim,
I want you to personally investigate the rumors of the Taris undercity. The planet has long been a destroyed wasteland from the wars of old. But those that have journeyed here have stated that something sinister and savage calls the undercity home, if our enemy thinks it is worth it to investigate these ruins, then so do I.

Rear Admiral Lafcadio,
I am sending you to the planet Rhen Var where our enemy is seeking to plunder old storehouses of weapons and equipment leftover from the Clone Wars. I believe this equipment would serve us better, go and make it so. And redeem yourself in the eyes of the Emperor.

Commander AnEnemyStand,
To you I assign the most difficult mission in this phase, Boba Fett has informed us through his Bounty Hunter connections that it seems the enemy is attempting to recruit the services of Cad Bane. This must not be allowed to happen. Go and make a higher offer, and if that doesn't work... Eliminate the competition...

I will be striking out at a hidden Republic base in hopes to secure and retrieve a large portion of their fighter squadrons that were seized when the Clones disobeyed their orders and joined the Jedi usurpers.

You have 24 standard Imperial hours to make your requests for allocations, and then they will be dispatched to your Forward Operating Bases. Consider what you will require commanders, and fight well and hard. We shall show the Republic what happens when you back a Rancor into a corner...

Grievous Out

Sorry for the long post...

This is my Very late (And very long) battle report from CC's and my game.

First of all, sorry guys... That was just a terrible game for me...

My comments in bold/parentheses.

(Commanders, no doubt, you have heard by now about the fall of Corusant. Thick smoke rises from every building I can see here. The entire planet has been completely overrun by ewoks. Things are looking pretty bad here on the surface right now. Not even civilians have escaped here. From what I can tell, Aurra and I are the only survivors left on the planet. We have barricaded ourselves in up on the top floor of one of the skyscrapers. Right now, we’re trying to keep a low profile by staying away from the windows as much as possible, but the last time I got a look, you couldn’t even see the ground because of all the ewoks! As far as the eye can see, there is nothing to see of the surface of the planet – only fur! Before airwaves went down, the only thing broadcasting was a planet-wide warning telling everyone to stay indoors at all costs. Then things went dark. Before holing up in here, Aurra and I tried to locate a starfighter, but everyone with any sort of transport has fled the planet by now. From our hiding place, I could see that even the ships taking off were crawling with ewoks! As shuttles ascended into the atmosphere, there were ewoks hanging onto the hulls, some slipping and falling to their deaths, some hanging on and beginning to rip the ships to pieces! If the Separatists had known about ewoks during the clone wars, buzz-droids would have been out of a job. Please send a ship for evacuation quickly! And be careful! The ewok apocalypse has come.

Apologies for the late report, but Aurra and I have been running for our lives until now. Holo-connections are sketchy right now, but I’ve been able to pick up CorellianComedian’s battle report that the republic has been broadcasting back and forth. It sounds like Sidious and Vader made it out alright. Glad to hear it. I lost sight of them after the ewoks came flooding into the nightclub! Didn’t think they’d have a chance! But now for the report: From what I understand, CorellianComedian has been trying to make people believe that he was able to defeat me with only a squad of twenty-five soldiers. I assume you realize by now that that is a flat out lie! Keep that in mind as I go through his battle report to set the record straight.)

General Comedian, reporting in from Coruscant: (The flaming, smoke covered, ruined, ewok overrun, ruined remains of what used to be Coruscant.)

The Ewoks have once again overwhelmed the enemy to bring us victory. (Huh! Victory by subjecting the entire planet to a worse fate than Alderaan!) This time around, I elected to rendezvous with the Ewoks outside the nightclub, instead of going through the... er... hardship... of enjoying their company on the way there. (I’m pretty sure that the way they got all the ewoks there was to just fill every single one of their republic Star Destroyers to the brim with ewoks, and then just flipping the ships over and dumping them once they got over the planet.)

Teebo led a small (In stature, not quantity!) strike team behind a speeder (Zam Wesell's speeder, I believe), (Completely crushing it under the weight of a million furry, little terrors) while Talon, Sugi, and the Ewok company took up positions inside a nearby building. (How CorellianComedian was able to retain command of an infinite number of ewoks with the help of only TWO other NON-ewoks is beyond me!) The Imperial forces had already arrived and begun threatening Zam Wesell. (Word for word, the “threat” was: Vader gestures towards the oncoming ewoks and says: “Come with us if you want to live!” *Zam begins to get a sickly expression on her face and begins quivering* “If you are able to survive those ewoks, and manage to join the republic, you’ll have to work with the CorellianComedian!” *Zam throws herself at Vader’s feet and begins frantically begging to him to bring her with him* Alas, it was not to be... Poor Zam. All this was before we realized that the Republic had dropped the entire population of endor on us, so our sense of panic was not quite as high as it should have been) Shortly after, we discovered two things that still amaze me: (1) Palpatine himself had come on this mission, (I had told him about my first two battles against CC, and he concluded that he would be in absolutely no danger.) and (2) his troops had gone to the trouble of bringing his spinny-office-chair along on the mission. (It was HIS idea! I wasn’t about to argue with a man who could make my hair stand on with a million volts of electricity just by pointing his fingers at me!)

Most of the Ewoks lacked ranged weapons, (But what they lacked in ranged weapons, they made up for in numbers...) but Teebo managed to pick off a few of the Stormtroopers guarding the entrance. (They were the first to have seen the tsunami of ewoks rushing towards them. They were probably in a state of shock. Deer in the headlights type of thing...) Again, we found ourselves facing down the legendary 501st Legion. (Eight of them... They never had a chance... They will be remembered for their sacrifice... If anyone is ever able to fight their way through the swarms of ewoks that now populate Coruscant to the nightclub to retrieve their dog tags... Meh. Probably not worth it.) As the 501st started to engage, (I’d seen the ewoks by now, and began screaming: “FIRE YOU FOOLS! FIRE!!!” into their coms.) they exposed themselves to cover fire from Sugi and another Ewok bowman. (Oh, is that who was firing? I couldn’t see them past the ewoks and all the fur flying through the air!) While the brave trio exchanged fire with the 501st (Does it really count as brave, when it’s a billion against twelve?)- who could find no mark to fire at (Sigh... So many options to shoot at... Indecisiveness was their downfall.) , between Teebo's stealth (Stealth: Hiding behind a wall of ewoks higher than Trump’s border wall!!!) and Sugi's hit-and-run tactics (The coward! ...That’s criminals for ya.) – the remainder of the Ewoks slowly crept out from cover, crossed the street, and began gathering near the entrance. (Reminiscent of floodwaters rising towards the people who’ve gathered on the high ground...)

With the regiment of 501st troopers sufficiently beaten in firefight, (It was like hydra! “Cut off one head, and two more will rise up to take its place.” Shoot down one ewok, and 300 will spill through to take its place!!!) a couple of Ewok Scouts advanced to the entrance. (“A couple” being more or less equal to the population of China...) Darth Vader himself charged up, prepared to strike down the assailants, and Aurra Sing waited in the shadows to provide cover fire. (It’s a good thing that Vader has a life support system permanently attached to him, because he almost had a heart attack when he saw all the ewoks charging towards him!)

And then the flood broke. (Ewoks GUSHED through the door! The ground shook! The walls began to crack as the ewoks flooded the building and kept squeezing in! Ewok trampled on ewok to be the first one in! The entrance began plugging up with all of them! All Vader had to do was hold his lightsaber out to one side for a second, and BAM! He’s just killed nine-thousand of the little zombie teddy bears! It’s a good thing he was able to ignite his weapon when he did, or I think that is the last that anyone would have ever seen of him! Aurra Began taking down ewoks left and right! the only reason she needed to keep her eyes open when firing her weapon to hit an ewok was so that she wouldn’t hit Vader or Sidious! But it was all futile! It was like trying to stop floodwaters with a spaghetti strainer!)

At a signal from Teebo, the Ewoks charged. (<--- ... Just encase anyone hadn’t figured that out yet.) Some (Two-hundred and eighty-three of them I believe) cornered Vader against the entrance, (He was crushed against the wall by the raging current of hairballs flowing past him!) others swarmed Palpatine on his office chair (They must have wanted to have a spin on it...) - and unfortunately for him, no amount of spinning could save him from Ewok spears. (He’d almost drowned in ewok fur before they were even able to get their spears out.)

As the last of the 501st went down (Sucked downstream, never to be seen again... poor guy...) - and Sugi too far away to help (I believe I heard him say to Talon: “Are you crazy?! I’m not going down there!” Must’ve been a dare...) - Vader smashed his assailants. The Ewoks are a force to be reckoned with, but none can stand before Vader's blade. (Just standing his ground and holding out his lightsaber out in front of him and watching the burnt scalloped Ewoks fly past him!)Despite even his powerful strokes, though, the Ewoks slipped past (Remember what I said about stopping floodwaters with a spaghetti strainer?) and did Palpatine in. (I thought that was the end for our beloved emperor right then and there!) Unable to use his dark powers on the Ewoks without harming himself, (Apparently ewok is an excellent conductor for electricity...) he had to flee for his life, lest he perish alongside his heavy chair. (I didn’t even see him flee! I just saw the deluge of ewoks pounding against him, the “floodwaters” rising, and then he’d disappeared beneath the surfice!) Vader finally was overcome by the swarming Ewoks. (The last sight I had of him was of a gloved hand being sucked below the torrent of cannibal teddy bears!)

Aurra's powerful sniper rifle could easily pick off an Ewok warrior, (There was nothing left NOT to aim at, so she just fired every which-way...) but it's rate of fire was too slow to take them all down in time. (FACE IT! NOTHING would have been fast enough to quell the tsunami of hair barreling towards her! Except maybe a flamethrower... No... On second though, the only thing worse than an army of ewoks is an army of FLAMING ewoks...) Sugi rushed into the nightclub, rifle blazing. (Probably thinking: “Quick! I’d better look like I did something to help!”) With both exits blocked, Aurra Sing charged our ranks, (“FOR NARNIA! AND FOR ASLAN!”, I believe she yelled... Either that or “YOLO”) and mercilessly struck down Teebo. (He deserved it! The little troll!) The brave Ewok had gotten carried away in the pending victory, (One does not simply win a battle with the Imperials without taking any crippling casualties of their own!) and I had not noticed his dangerous position until it was too late. (You have to admit: It was a little hard to see anything in there about then...) With the Ewoks too shocked at the death of their trusted battlefield coordinater, Sing escaped through a window. (IN YOUR FACE!!! Against ASTRONOMICAL odds, I have once again managed to have the final say in battle against the sadistic CorellianComedian!!)

But Teebo's sacrifice was not in vain. (Maybe not, but it was worth it to see the shock and awe in CC’s face as Aurra and I made our escape. Said face was a lovely shade of purple, and the expression on it said something to the effect of: “HOW?! How did they manage to kill one of my commanding officers out of ALL three trillion of those ewoks?!) Zam Wesell has joined our cause. (It was either that or be roasted at the steak by the ewoks. Don’t worry Zam! We will rescue you!) Vader's Fist has been broken. (That must have been the fist I saw sinking beneath the surge of squirming ewok bodies.) The Dark Lord himself was outmatched on the battlefield and forced to flee. (I don’t think I really need to explain anything here...) We have shown the galaxy that we will not be intimidated by a fallen Jedi and his master; (“Not intimidated”... on the condition that they are surrounded by a sea of zombie teddy bears!) on the contrary, we stand as strong as ever for freedom and justice. [Insert air quotes around “Freedom” and Justice”] (...Upon the flaming ruins and dead bodies of the citizens of the capital city of the Republic... and the capital city of the Imperials... we make it work...)

High Command, I am pleased to have been of service to the Jedi and this exiled Republic. (I think I understand why they were exiled now... The means by which they achieve victory is... something else...) I have regained my confidence and, I hope, your trust. (Was it worth it...? Decimating an entire planet to gain ONE recruit!) We will see the galaxy rid of these tyrants yet. (Says the man who has done the equivalent of causing the zombie apocalypse on Coruscant...)

General Comedian out. (...Out of things to say, out of lies, and OUT OF HIS MIND!!!)


* * *

I ran this:
(NOTHING TO SEE HERE!!!)
--We're Downsizing Our Infantry - Campaign Round 3--
33 Sugi
32 Talon Karrde, Information Broker
19 Ewok Chieftain
16 Chief Chirpa
15 Teebo, Ewok Sentry
8 R7 Astromech Droid
36 Ewok Scout x6
5 Ewok Warrior
30 Ewok x10
6 Mouse Droid x2
(DON'T LET HIM DECEIVE YOU!!!)

(200pts. 25 activations)
(LIES!!! ALL LIES!!!)

Lafcadio had:

--Vader + Sidious + Stormtroopers = AWESOME!!! Aka:Operation Sandstorm - But LEGAL this time! Yay!--
45 Darth Vader of Lothal
33 Aurra Sing, Assassin
33 Emperor Palpatine on Throne
88 501st Legion Stormtrooper x8
8 R7 Astromech Droid

(207pts. 12 activations)
(Look at that measly little squad there... twelve of them! Can you blame me for losing? Jk)



(It looks like it will be a quiet night here... but nothing is certain...

The ewoks are getting closer.... Please send evac quickly!

I’m not sure how long we will be able hold out...)

[End Transmission]

Hahaha I love the edited director's notes battle report. Well done haha

All Imperial allocations have been distributed. Time to halt our enemy's progress and turn the tide in this Civil War! Palpatine your Emperor demands victory!